JACKALSMITH INTERNATIONAL TM. ENTERS HIGHLY LUCRATIVE WINGBOARD MARKET

The founder of Jackalsmith International is Harvey Jackalsmith, the designer of the first commercial skatewing and co-founder of Michael Goldschlonce, Inc TM. (Skate Wing Division)

In 1997, inspired by the late Harvey Jackalsmith Sr., Goldschlonce began working on a new skate wing design. His first design was revolutionary, primarily in the field of safety. The quick wing release system provided the skate wing with the option to quickly and safely detach the wings in case of an emergency; thus enabling the skatewinger to continue his manuver like a regular skateboarder.

Since then, Goldschlonce Inc TM. designed a number of improved skatewings that have reached performance levels that until now were never thought to be possible. Today, Michael is reaching new heights and nearing 420 Billion in world wide sales with his new company Michael Goldschlonce Inc.

Goldschlonce Inc TM. has selected Grassman, Capitan Beermerica, and O-Beerbong Grassnobi, as Goldschlonce, Inc. Instructor Examiners for the USA and Europe. Grassman, Beermerica, and Grassnobi, will be responsible for training the Skate Wing Instructors around the world as well as providing advanced training.

Concerning the August 29th Raid

Concerning the August 29th Raid
After a unsuccessful and unwarrented drug raid by the US Marshals at the JACKALSMITH INTERNATIONAL offices, Harvey Jackalsmith isn't throwing in the towel just yet. "The place was really trashed after the drug raid" said Mr Jackalsmith, which left people roughed up and emotionally scarred." This company will not be torn apart by over protectiveness", said Mr Jackalsmith and contiuned by saying, "Our top legal aid will talk care of this."

Jackalsmith tours own design facility.

In an unexpected go see, Harvey Jackalsmith director and president of the highly acclaimed Jackalsmith International was driven to the design facility in the most economical way he knows how, in the back of a vintage Ferrari stretch limo. On lookers were amazed in this gravely commercialized zone on the outskirts of New York CIty. Harvey said, "This part of town is a shit hole. How do you stand living in this mess all the time?" shortly after making these comments, Harvey was Limoed back to safety in La La Land.

Jackalsmith Trades-ups Drag Bikes for the "Cooz Biz"

In a unprecedented change of business strategy, Harvey Jackalsmith is putting his money where is mouth is, and that is around a wide mouth beer can. at the press room of Jackalsmith International Harvey had these words to say. "I just thought that keeping beers cold internationally was a more important cause than racing those motor cycle losers every weekend on the circuit. Bikes are ok, but cooled beers are another thing entirely."

Jackalsmith International Abandons Drag Bike Circuit

"Quickly and Quietly" Harvey was heard murmering under his breath durring the last top fuel win by his team last week. Information had snuck out to some team owners about the Drag Bike Association of America has deciding to drop all "Negitive" sponsorship which will include The Philip Morris sponsorships. Harvey Jackalsmith was going to do the same, and he did. He axed the team, dismantled the bikes, and now are for sale on www.ebay.com Harvey Jackalsmith off the record made this statement earlier this morning. "If Morris is out, I'm out."

Jackalaser 6900

The Jackalaser 6900 and Atari 2600 clashed in the first ever video game console rivalry, beginning in 1979 and lasting well into 80's. Boasting high-resolution graphics via Laser Disc(and later an impressive voice synthesizer), the Jackalaser was superior to the 2600 in several ways. The system excelled in gambling games as demonstrated by Harvey Jackalsmith the inventor, in a series of famous commercials comparing both console's titles side by side. The Jackalaser 6900 sophisticated controllers, which boasted numeric keypads (1-69), allowed for far more complex gameplay. The Jackalaser 6900 offers some of the worlds most impressive titles, including N.U.K.E.,Lasersmith 2020, Angry Man's Gambler, "Hot-tub Antics" and the smash hit "dealer" which was the worlds 1st narcotics dealing simulator.

Art the "Jackalsmith Way"

Some Millionaires decorate their mansions with rare paintings. Mr. Harvey Jackalsmith bolted a 1974 Lamborghini to the wall of his Newport Beach estate in California early on Friday reports Michael Goldschlonce in the LA Times. Because Home Depot doesn't sell kits to hang cars as artwork, Jackalsmith hired a 70-ton crane to lower the Italian sports car through a skylight in his living room. Earlier, the car's engine was removed and transformed into a 200-mph coffee maker for guests who prefer their drinks "turbo cooked", said Jackalsmith, an heir to the family that created the brand loved the world over, Jackalsmith International.

Getting the Lamborghini into the mansion took about an hour,
but the project was conceived months ago, when the architect known only as "angry man" began designing Jackalsmith's newest Mansion, US$2-billion worth of steel-and-concrete sold to the lowest bidder will overlook Newport's prestigious Back Bay when construction finishes later this year. "This was one of the original ideas for the new mansion" Angry Man was heard screaming. "The skylight was designed to fit the car. "Angry Man has installed offbeat elements in previous mansion projects including indoor rifle ranges, crack alleys, 28-foot-golden replica of Harvey Jackalsmith which looked disturbingly close to the now destroyed Saddam Hussein monument in Bagdad, convenience store, Brewery, and Highly controversial Egyptian art gallery.

Has gasoline gotten so expensive that it's cheaper to turn a Lamborghini into Art rather than to drive it? "Who cares!" says Jackalsmith 68, is well known for his irreverent tastes and zero patience. "New Port Beach is really the place to be if one loves to be surrounded by the riches neighbors in the world!" said Jackalsmith. In Newport Beach 69, 10,000sq ft mansions were erected last month.